dear paradise by the dashboard lights diary,
meatloaf sounds good for dinner, but i aint gunna get that. it would take an act of God to get that in front of me. it will happen again someday tho, with green beans and smashed potatoes. yum. i had a dream about milk today. i love milk. becky likes cheese. she is hooked in it. she is a funny little dog from wisconsin. im ready for that vacation. i am seriously considering a cruise now. cuz fuckit- i don't want to be responsible for nothin. and frankly, i don't want to do anything either- i got a list of that shit to do when i get back. i just want to go somewhere and do nothin for a spell, in the warmness of the sun, even the warm rain, and then ill be ready to deal again. i hope anyway. cuz i got alot of shit on my plate here- new shit- i aint never had to do before- exciting things to explore- and for a whore- well- im getting kinda old for this. a younger whore would prolly sling right into action- but me- im rusty. klanky. sore even. arthritic. i may have to resort to using a cane of some sort. a wheel chair. i am scared. but ill survive. ill stay alive. who knows- i may even thrive. wouldn't that be a trip- to come out swingin a whip. oh wouldn't that be such a shame, to see my words in print- and my real name. dropping the whore- there would be no more- reason to call me that anymore- would there? oh i guess you still can- if it makes you feel like a man- you know- nothing pleases you more.