dear going back to bed again diary,
seems like whenever i get up- everyone else gets up too. why is that? am i just a party or what? so if i didn't get up- would everyone stay in bed? even the dogs? because i just wanted some privacy. a little moment or two to myself. you know- without the smoke. fuck. tell me this isn't happening. it is tho. it does every single time. ima have to get sick and die to get a moment alone. it was fun while it lasted, but it is over now. sometimes i wonder if that isn't why i sleep so much- an effort to escape. i run to my other life that waits for me as soon as i close my eye lids. but sometimes that life is just as painful. most of the time it isn't tho- and i know this. i depend on this. but i think there has to be those times where it does hurt- or i wouldn't want to wake up at all. in a minute, ima shoot for a sweet dream, one filled with softness and touch. then when i wake up- this real shit wont matter as much.
seems like whenever i get up- everyone else gets up too. why is that? am i just a party or what? so if i didn't get up- would everyone stay in bed? even the dogs? because i just wanted some privacy. a little moment or two to myself. you know- without the smoke. fuck. tell me this isn't happening. it is tho. it does every single time. ima have to get sick and die to get a moment alone. it was fun while it lasted, but it is over now. sometimes i wonder if that isn't why i sleep so much- an effort to escape. i run to my other life that waits for me as soon as i close my eye lids. but sometimes that life is just as painful. most of the time it isn't tho- and i know this. i depend on this. but i think there has to be those times where it does hurt- or i wouldn't want to wake up at all. in a minute, ima shoot for a sweet dream, one filled with softness and touch. then when i wake up- this real shit wont matter as much.