dear whiz with the time diary,
i am all fucking done with my paperwork now and it is all decorated up and polished and my shit is all tight as can be and i really ought to think about doing this professionally for other people who have a burning chance in hell because the good Lord knows i sure don't and why i continue to put myself through the agony of rejection is beyond me- but it is so fun to build myself up and sometimes it works- it has before and you just never know-- it may have already been decided and i just don't know so i gotta go find out for sure or not because if it has and i deny fate- well then i just screwed up my future and my friend Karma hates it when i have a plan and let her hand go after i've held it so long and sweat through the hard shit to keep the candle lit. whew. deep breath in... and release. sometimes i don't even want to breathe because exhaling my breath takes away some of the power and strength of the force that pushes me toward every idea that makes me who i am and if i don't keep trying to get there- then who am i anyway? people don't understand how important it is to me to get used to the ideas that drive me- they think i am chasing something i shouldn't be looking for. fuck them. ima keep looking anyway, because being rejected is much better than being never found at all.
i am all fucking done with my paperwork now and it is all decorated up and polished and my shit is all tight as can be and i really ought to think about doing this professionally for other people who have a burning chance in hell because the good Lord knows i sure don't and why i continue to put myself through the agony of rejection is beyond me- but it is so fun to build myself up and sometimes it works- it has before and you just never know-- it may have already been decided and i just don't know so i gotta go find out for sure or not because if it has and i deny fate- well then i just screwed up my future and my friend Karma hates it when i have a plan and let her hand go after i've held it so long and sweat through the hard shit to keep the candle lit. whew. deep breath in... and release. sometimes i don't even want to breathe because exhaling my breath takes away some of the power and strength of the force that pushes me toward every idea that makes me who i am and if i don't keep trying to get there- then who am i anyway? people don't understand how important it is to me to get used to the ideas that drive me- they think i am chasing something i shouldn't be looking for. fuck them. ima keep looking anyway, because being rejected is much better than being never found at all.