April 23, 2011

toe religion

dear walk it off diary,

it is time to devote some serious attention to the most outer region of my feet- my sexy toes. i intend on doing that very soon- possibly today even. i will pull out my toe bucket- which is stainless steel- and fill it with hot water and soak my toes until they look like rasinettes. then i will make all the necessary adjustments and prepare them for paint and let them airdry for at least two hours before i paint them. it will take that long to pick out the right color. mulling over each color is a daunting task. when i feel i've found the right one- i will place the chosen color on the floor and look down at it for one whole minute. if i can still tolerate it, i will set that color aside and try for another. after i have selected at least three colors this way- i find a very bright light and look at the colors i have chosen again under the light- eliminating one. then the ultimate decision will not be made by color- but by thickness of the paint- or size of the brush. if the brush is an old style brush- it is rejected immediately- marked and shelved on a different shelf to await a new brush from an empty bottle of polish with a new style brush. this all must be done so the turkey will cook properly on the front porch.