dear fear factor diary,
being around someone who gets angry at the drop of a hat gets old. the problem with that it is it becomes contagious at times and very easy to snap at all the wrong times. every once in a while (not often- trust me) i have an 'out of body expierence' and i step back and for a moment guilt flows over me. i look around and i see the house a mess or all the dishes in the sink or i pass the only mirror in the house and see myself and i'm like, "ugh, what the fuck are you looking at," or i suddenly smell something gawd awful and realize, "omfg- that's my crotch stinking like that." i know i need to participate in life more. but i don't want to. when did i check out? business is slow. i have no place to go. i can sometimes understand the anger- the free happy ride has expired.