dear thinking about death again diary,
boy- that topic just steady is following me around. i am strong about it right now though. i ain't a big fat cry baby like usual. i am thinking like my mom prolly did when she had to think about her own death. wow. now i am a cry baby again. why does it have to change so fast. FUCK ME. ima clear my throat and sit up straight and think clearly again- after all- it is a dog. brought up in a home where we could have the best of nearly anything we wanted, but still always kept everything we ever had- including the box it came in, it isn't hard to understand how easy it is for me to attach myself to everything i love dearly. i think being deprived of a bedtime animal inside our home made me love the ones i have as an adult as much as my own children- if not more at times- because my dogs never grow out of snuggling in my bed at night- or all day. i cant get william or harry near my bed anymore- and honestly- i am fine with that. but death- the final frontier? i doubt it.