dear you don't need to tell me diary,
i still remember being a child. my body smells the same. the sky has the same colors sometimes and i can hear it- in my ears- my youth. then i see someone who should be an infant- but they are old with infants and this sends that jolt of sudden and complete and fierce reality through my entire being... i am fucking old now. was i lucky? looking back i really was. what would i do different? i'm not sure i would do much of anything different, except maybe rearrange some words. he likes it when i dig my nails into his furry back while he humps me. i like doing it for him. i don't really mind anymore- like i used to.