dear it's been hard all day diary,
making goals and keeping them is so damn hard, for me. self restraint is what i find the most difficult of it all, holding back when i know that i can easily have as much as i want. betcha that is why i sleep so much because i got the go ahead to do it whenever and however and wherever for as long as i possibly can at each time i can. i tried living normally- for the longest stretch i ever have and it was devastating. in fact i am still dealing with things that happened during that time today. but then there ain't no sense getting all choked up about it- after all- there is nothing special about me after all. however, every once in awhile in my regular life, i do creep out from under my heavy dark shell and emerge victorious in life- even before the hero popped his jagged missing tooth into my life. it happens. i promised myself i would end last week with fifty-one posts and i did that. this week i will end with fifty-two and that is just stupid. but that is how ima do it. then it'll be time for fifty-three and the nifty whore and sammy hagar and digger and the highway to chicago (or fuckingham) and then maybe after then i'll forget. prolly not. but i might forget a number. HUH ROGER?