dear speedy trial diary,
rowing over to america on a boat from another country should not be against a criminal law, the poor immigrant should just have to row back. give them a box of ritz crackers and a jar of peanut butter and some welches grape juice and send 'em on out to sea. i'm sure the perpetrator isn't going to have access to bail or bond money once arrested and his boat impounded, so why cause further delay. if we had a little return basket waiting at all ports, maybe this would detour boating immigrants from sailing over here. i wouldn't want to have my boat impounded, or my little raft or inner tube. i would be so afraid i would get the wrong vessel back when i went to claim it and with so many juan valdezes in the world, how would they know which one to give me? i do, however, like ritz crackers and welches grape juice with concord cherry and peanut butter and i am not even an immigrant- but i can prolly come up with some bail.