dear black tie event diary,
becky has a puffy eye. she and the grump were playfighting and it escalated and now she has the eye deal. i made him stand in the corner for a minute but he does not understand. i put a pound of frozen ground chuck on her eye but all she wants to do is sniff the package. she slept good during our nap- so she's not in any pain- but her upper eye lid is swollen- and her little skin is broken. i'd kill the grump if i could get away with it- but i'd be sad in an hour. i'll telll you what- these two are worse than my children ever were. she looks all beat up now and abused. i hope dogs and family services doesn't come to investigate. i don't have all their toys clean- and the sheets on their crib haven't been changed for a month. they will take them away from me- i bet. our nap was unbelievable. everyone piled in the bed, even the grump got in on the action and laid his goofy ass the right way. nobody farted- it was nice. i never woke up once. i didn't dream either- that i know of yet- if i did- it was a silent dream. i like those- it's like finally getting to rest. my ringer on my phone is off- but nobody called. i accidentally sent my dad a text message today. oh shit. worse- the message was ABOUT HIM. hopefully he wont read it. at least it wasn't a penis picture- right?
becky has a puffy eye. she and the grump were playfighting and it escalated and now she has the eye deal. i made him stand in the corner for a minute but he does not understand. i put a pound of frozen ground chuck on her eye but all she wants to do is sniff the package. she slept good during our nap- so she's not in any pain- but her upper eye lid is swollen- and her little skin is broken. i'd kill the grump if i could get away with it- but i'd be sad in an hour. i'll telll you what- these two are worse than my children ever were. she looks all beat up now and abused. i hope dogs and family services doesn't come to investigate. i don't have all their toys clean- and the sheets on their crib haven't been changed for a month. they will take them away from me- i bet. our nap was unbelievable. everyone piled in the bed, even the grump got in on the action and laid his goofy ass the right way. nobody farted- it was nice. i never woke up once. i didn't dream either- that i know of yet- if i did- it was a silent dream. i like those- it's like finally getting to rest. my ringer on my phone is off- but nobody called. i accidentally sent my dad a text message today. oh shit. worse- the message was ABOUT HIM. hopefully he wont read it. at least it wasn't a penis picture- right?
