dear saturday night live diary,
i know i will never make the weekend update desk with seth, but i deserve to. every week lorne michaels and his little nickel and dime show writers there on nbc (the bird channel) steal my material and put it on THE BESTEST SHOW ON EARTH and never bother thanking me for it. i get so sick of that lorne michaels. it really upsets me. i am sort of GLAD this season is finally over so i can relax finally and stop watching for anymore of MY material to come across the screen. cuz it hurts my feelings so BAD to see my shit. i'd love to get credit for some of it so i can use it to get in the WGA. damn. i already belong to the YMCA. so tonight when you're watching, do me a favor- EVERYONE THINK ABOUT THE WHORE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND- CUZ I PROLLY WROTE THE WHOLE SHOW IN MY HEAD.
and p.s. high LADY GAGA.... my son LOVES YOU! i do too! and hey JUSTIN! we have a waiter at the olive garden that looks JUST like you.... SMOKIN HOT! i always tip him good.
and pss.. kristen wigg... my man is hot for you... so I BETTER NEVER SEE YOU AT THE BAR! YOU SKANK! (just kidding) :)
i know i will never make the weekend update desk with seth, but i deserve to. every week lorne michaels and his little nickel and dime show writers there on nbc (the bird channel) steal my material and put it on THE BESTEST SHOW ON EARTH and never bother thanking me for it. i get so sick of that lorne michaels. it really upsets me. i am sort of GLAD this season is finally over so i can relax finally and stop watching for anymore of MY material to come across the screen. cuz it hurts my feelings so BAD to see my shit. i'd love to get credit for some of it so i can use it to get in the WGA. damn. i already belong to the YMCA. so tonight when you're watching, do me a favor- EVERYONE THINK ABOUT THE WHORE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND- CUZ I PROLLY WROTE THE WHOLE SHOW IN MY HEAD.
and p.s. high LADY GAGA.... my son LOVES YOU! i do too! and hey JUSTIN! we have a waiter at the olive garden that looks JUST like you.... SMOKIN HOT! i always tip him good.
and pss.. kristen wigg... my man is hot for you... so I BETTER NEVER SEE YOU AT THE BAR! YOU SKANK! (just kidding) :)
