dear stinky armpit diary,
whenever somebody tries to take me under their wing, i always hate it cuz of that smell. the armpit smell. i don't like it that much. only when the sweat is fresh and dripping on me do i like that smell. if i could reach inside- deep inside- i maybe could pull a rabbit out of my hat. it could be a dragon attack. where should we go from here- now that all of the children are throwing up? and why are you waisting my thyme- knowing that shit wont really change the flavor at all. i got new laundry soap cuz i was getting tired of the smell of the same shit i been using for the last TWENTY FUCKING YEARS and i wanted to smell different. i got wisk. i wanted to smell like an egg beater. my grandma used to use it after she forgot what kind she used to use- and so it reminds me of her after she became the new grandma i didn't know. she was still grandma every once in a while though- and always accused me of leaving MY laundry soap there- so she'd send it home with me all the time- and i'd damn near HAVE to take it or she'd chase me down the blacktop driveway with it in her hand. then there'd be a brand new bottle from kennedy's market- sure as shit- the next time i'd come over. poor grandma. fuck that alzheimer's shit. all the apple pies and noodles were fucking great though. oh fuck yes.
whenever somebody tries to take me under their wing, i always hate it cuz of that smell. the armpit smell. i don't like it that much. only when the sweat is fresh and dripping on me do i like that smell. if i could reach inside- deep inside- i maybe could pull a rabbit out of my hat. it could be a dragon attack. where should we go from here- now that all of the children are throwing up? and why are you waisting my thyme- knowing that shit wont really change the flavor at all. i got new laundry soap cuz i was getting tired of the smell of the same shit i been using for the last TWENTY FUCKING YEARS and i wanted to smell different. i got wisk. i wanted to smell like an egg beater. my grandma used to use it after she forgot what kind she used to use- and so it reminds me of her after she became the new grandma i didn't know. she was still grandma every once in a while though- and always accused me of leaving MY laundry soap there- so she'd send it home with me all the time- and i'd damn near HAVE to take it or she'd chase me down the blacktop driveway with it in her hand. then there'd be a brand new bottle from kennedy's market- sure as shit- the next time i'd come over. poor grandma. fuck that alzheimer's shit. all the apple pies and noodles were fucking great though. oh fuck yes.