dear watermelon i just ate on a plate diary,
i think the chinese people invented the watermelon. i think they must have. when i burp it, i think of butter chicken. i feel like a whale. i haven't gained an ounce- yet i feel like a fucking puffer fish. oh well. i really don't give a flying fiesta. the snake is all over the place tonite. making allkinds of thumping noises. i wont be able to sleep with all that shit going on. she does this a couple of weeks after she sheds- so it is time i suppose. she shit two huge golf ball size white turds- she is hungry again. that bitch will wait. if you'da told me i would spend seventy bucks a month on dogfood and seventeen bucks on rats- ida prolly kicked you in the leg- but that's what it comes to. and no coupons EVER come in the mail for rats either. rats are dumb. they'll get to really swingin if you hold them by their tail long enough. i try not to- but sometimes- you have to. the snake bit me once- i tried to move the rat closer to it- which i realize now was quite stupid. so once i put the rat in there now- i let it just do everything on its own. i no longer try and help. it hurt when i got bit, but i did not cry. it did hurt tho. but like i said, i didn't cry. i almost thought about crying, but it like didn't hurt that bad. i was more freaked out than anything. i almost chopped its head off- my mom would have- but it was my fault- for trying to move the rat. she prolly thought i was gunna take her rat back. like the grump does when i take his bones away. so at the end of the day- i deserved to be bitten- and that's why i didn't cry. ima big girl.
i think the chinese people invented the watermelon. i think they must have. when i burp it, i think of butter chicken. i feel like a whale. i haven't gained an ounce- yet i feel like a fucking puffer fish. oh well. i really don't give a flying fiesta. the snake is all over the place tonite. making allkinds of thumping noises. i wont be able to sleep with all that shit going on. she does this a couple of weeks after she sheds- so it is time i suppose. she shit two huge golf ball size white turds- she is hungry again. that bitch will wait. if you'da told me i would spend seventy bucks a month on dogfood and seventeen bucks on rats- ida prolly kicked you in the leg- but that's what it comes to. and no coupons EVER come in the mail for rats either. rats are dumb. they'll get to really swingin if you hold them by their tail long enough. i try not to- but sometimes- you have to. the snake bit me once- i tried to move the rat closer to it- which i realize now was quite stupid. so once i put the rat in there now- i let it just do everything on its own. i no longer try and help. it hurt when i got bit, but i did not cry. it did hurt tho. but like i said, i didn't cry. i almost thought about crying, but it like didn't hurt that bad. i was more freaked out than anything. i almost chopped its head off- my mom would have- but it was my fault- for trying to move the rat. she prolly thought i was gunna take her rat back. like the grump does when i take his bones away. so at the end of the day- i deserved to be bitten- and that's why i didn't cry. ima big girl.