dear it's always a morning like this diary,
hailow again. how is life treating everyone else this morning? i already want to push someone over a cliff. do we have any of those here? i'm willing to drive a ways. i hate waking up hostile, but sometimes i just have to. i feel like i am trying to win a snowball fight with someone on my shoulders. everything i say is a fucking argument. not allowed to have an opinion around here, i am stupid. i cant understand what someone says most of the time and not because the words are so big, because the words are all muffled up and i cant lip read through a wig of wire. i am sick of saying, "huh?" because i know i wont care, it wont matter, and it wont change my mind, but i cant say what i want to say, which is, "shut the fuck up- i don't give two rotten pussy fucks." i try to ignore you, but you demand a response. i nod my head, but even that isn't good enough. I CANT HEAR YOU. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU. IT TAKES MORE EFFORT THAN I AM WILLING TO PUT FORWARD ANYMORE. and that's why i don't take a bath, brush my teeth, put on make-up, get dressed, smile, go anywhere with you, look at you, laugh with you, like you, or even spend more than 2.5 hours out of bed per day.