dear coming in second with the lights on diary,
waking up from my nap earlier, i had twitter messages to untangle on my phone, as well as missed calls and text messages- one from someone who lives in the light- the goat. i never call anyone back anymore and i never answer twits by phone, so i started down the text messages, stalling out on the goat's. i sat looking at it for a few minutes, stunned face, and i realized, the lights are on now (here on the dark side) and no longer am i the pitiful desperate whore i was before. i've been queen where i don't want to be for so long ida prolly (and have) tried about anything and everything to get out. but i know what i have to do and it is all on me and i will not be patronized by a fucking farm animal ever again. do not wait nine months and ask me what's for dinner. that's just stupid. i'm sure i wasn't your first choice- for real though, please make me your last.