dear motivation diary,
i'm not getting up. i'm not rolling over. i'm not doing shit. i've got a royal headache and really don't feel like doing shit, but i need to get up and go freeze that chicken. chicken. chicken is going to get me out of this bed. imagine that. of all things in this world. chicken. a bird. you know i hate birds. but i love fajitas. i'm on this onion kick for some reason. it's in my blood and my biological mother told me this would happen, but i didn't ever think it would- this sudden love for onions. you do know that i have now moved my computer to the bed. yes. i have submitted myself to a week long depression. ima allow myself to be depressed until next monday. i figure that will be enough time. i have increased my medication already so hopefully the actual week wont be a week but if it is a week- i've allotted time in my schedule. ima prolly write dumpy stupid shit about darker stupider shittier shit than usual, so buckle the fuck up and take note of the suicide hot line if you cant handle it. i can handle it because i've always been able to handle it. there's was a couple of times where the point on my pencil broke, but i always found a sharpener. my dad always used the pencils you just twist at the end and the led comes down from the center. i liked the other red pencils my dad had because when you licked them and they got soft- almost like a marker- there are still marks around the outlets at dad's where i outlined them in wet red pencil. at the end of each day i give thanks for the things i have been given throughout my life- all of the rich red pencils over my live and the ink i've left behind. i know i have nothing to be depressed about, yet- i set that time aside- and i moved my computer in to the bedroom here and iffin i need to- i will cry.
i'm not getting up. i'm not rolling over. i'm not doing shit. i've got a royal headache and really don't feel like doing shit, but i need to get up and go freeze that chicken. chicken. chicken is going to get me out of this bed. imagine that. of all things in this world. chicken. a bird. you know i hate birds. but i love fajitas. i'm on this onion kick for some reason. it's in my blood and my biological mother told me this would happen, but i didn't ever think it would- this sudden love for onions. you do know that i have now moved my computer to the bed. yes. i have submitted myself to a week long depression. ima allow myself to be depressed until next monday. i figure that will be enough time. i have increased my medication already so hopefully the actual week wont be a week but if it is a week- i've allotted time in my schedule. ima prolly write dumpy stupid shit about darker stupider shittier shit than usual, so buckle the fuck up and take note of the suicide hot line if you cant handle it. i can handle it because i've always been able to handle it. there's was a couple of times where the point on my pencil broke, but i always found a sharpener. my dad always used the pencils you just twist at the end and the led comes down from the center. i liked the other red pencils my dad had because when you licked them and they got soft- almost like a marker- there are still marks around the outlets at dad's where i outlined them in wet red pencil. at the end of each day i give thanks for the things i have been given throughout my life- all of the rich red pencils over my live and the ink i've left behind. i know i have nothing to be depressed about, yet- i set that time aside- and i moved my computer in to the bedroom here and iffin i need to- i will cry.