dear two doors down diary,
it makes me laugh when i remember that time when we lived in our old house and the fuse box caught on fire and everyone said i had my 220v dildo plugged in and it burned up the wiring. it did suck that our whole house filled with smoke and the babies were just little and it was freezin cold outside and we had marty- the asshole dog- who hated men in uniforms. i dont know what ever in the world caused that precious dog to be like that- but he hated cops, mailmen, the schwan man, and fireman- all the same. he hated my landlord too, but that was cool with me. my landlord had a hair lip and always wanted to thin the paint when he painted. i'd be like- wtf? it ain't even thick- he'd thin it. i'd say fuck it and paint the shit when he'd leave again. then he would come back the next day and be like, "see- that paint covered just fine after i thinned it," it sure the fuck did. whatever- i am the one who had to look at the shit- i said fuck it and painted it right. that landlord was an idiot anyway. ida bought that house if he'da sold it to me- but he wanted to wait til he couldn't get anything for it- then sell it. i'm glad i didn't end up with it anyway- or i'd still be living there now. i saw him the otherday and he didn't even know who i was. but i knew the hair lip mother fucker as soon as he spoke to me. i bet he still thins the paint.
it makes me laugh when i remember that time when we lived in our old house and the fuse box caught on fire and everyone said i had my 220v dildo plugged in and it burned up the wiring. it did suck that our whole house filled with smoke and the babies were just little and it was freezin cold outside and we had marty- the asshole dog- who hated men in uniforms. i dont know what ever in the world caused that precious dog to be like that- but he hated cops, mailmen, the schwan man, and fireman- all the same. he hated my landlord too, but that was cool with me. my landlord had a hair lip and always wanted to thin the paint when he painted. i'd be like- wtf? it ain't even thick- he'd thin it. i'd say fuck it and paint the shit when he'd leave again. then he would come back the next day and be like, "see- that paint covered just fine after i thinned it," it sure the fuck did. whatever- i am the one who had to look at the shit- i said fuck it and painted it right. that landlord was an idiot anyway. ida bought that house if he'da sold it to me- but he wanted to wait til he couldn't get anything for it- then sell it. i'm glad i didn't end up with it anyway- or i'd still be living there now. i saw him the otherday and he didn't even know who i was. but i knew the hair lip mother fucker as soon as he spoke to me. i bet he still thins the paint.
