dear eyebrow diary,
i am making plans to drastically pluck my eyebrows. ima do this in the afternoon tomorrow. i haven't done it for a very long time. if you think really hard- you can figure out when. i'll give you a moment if you need it, but i am confident there are many of you who prolly don't..... ready? you guessed it... OCTOBER 18TH the night BEFORE COURT when i thought i was going to JAIL!! that was a really busy night for me. you would NOT believe all the fun filled activities we packed into that day. we went to st. louis- i went to work. i ate ribs in the bath tub. did my nails- my toenails- shaved my legs- plucked- trimmed- fucked- i did it all. i KNEW i was going to jail. and then...THEN, when cuntface said i stuck my tongue out at her while she was testifying in AGGRAVATION (51 pages of written testimony lol) at my SENTENCING- oh fuck... whether i did it or not, (in my defense- my lips were dry- she is paranoid) i just knew i was getting the ELECTRIC CHAIR. but you know- that was a judge who could see through the bullshit- that man knew the sound of the truth. he said he was GOING to give me JAIL time- UNTIL HE HEARD ME SPEAK. something i said made sense to him, gee- wonder what that could have been? maybe the truth about everything? from jail time to NO JAIL time to no probation either? what a sweetheart deal this judge gave me- but i am still a big time criminal. a criminal in need of an eyebrow plucking.
i am making plans to drastically pluck my eyebrows. ima do this in the afternoon tomorrow. i haven't done it for a very long time. if you think really hard- you can figure out when. i'll give you a moment if you need it, but i am confident there are many of you who prolly don't..... ready? you guessed it... OCTOBER 18TH the night BEFORE COURT when i thought i was going to JAIL!! that was a really busy night for me. you would NOT believe all the fun filled activities we packed into that day. we went to st. louis- i went to work. i ate ribs in the bath tub. did my nails- my toenails- shaved my legs- plucked- trimmed- fucked- i did it all. i KNEW i was going to jail. and then...THEN, when cuntface said i stuck my tongue out at her while she was testifying in AGGRAVATION (51 pages of written testimony lol) at my SENTENCING- oh fuck... whether i did it or not, (in my defense- my lips were dry- she is paranoid) i just knew i was getting the ELECTRIC CHAIR. but you know- that was a judge who could see through the bullshit- that man knew the sound of the truth. he said he was GOING to give me JAIL time- UNTIL HE HEARD ME SPEAK. something i said made sense to him, gee- wonder what that could have been? maybe the truth about everything? from jail time to NO JAIL time to no probation either? what a sweetheart deal this judge gave me- but i am still a big time criminal. a criminal in need of an eyebrow plucking.
