January 18, 2011

new help wanted ad (original post 11/10/10)

dear help me diary,

dumb whore lookin to expand business, easy to look at, doesn't smell anymore, not currently broke out, no court appointments for a month, all blood work current and negative, no appointments until after noon if possible, no alcohol, marlboro lights in a box only, hates McDonalds (except at 4am) likes bubble baths and mtv, doesn't go on city property, except the library, and civic center to pay the water bill, oops i mean payment, and loves red meat and milk. will not eat at the olive garden, ever, in a million years ever, or applebees.
looking for a fat, easy-going, toothless (preferably) married, lol, homeless, career driven man- late forty's- early fifty's, with an std, to fill a huge gap left by an individual im just having a hard time living without. i can deal with porn and video games and sexual addictions, put prefer no anal at this time. thanks for reading. if you do reply, put no buttfucker in the subject line so i know ur real.