stinking up the bed

dear seeing things clearly diary,

becky farted while we were sleeping and i thought i was cooking a roast. i knew i wasn't cooking a roast, but it sure smelled like it until she farted again and then i knew it wasn't a roast. she doesnt fart very often and had i have not actually heard the second blast- i would have most definitely blamed it on someone else- hell- i'd even taken credit before i would have pinned that on her- but she done it. she is old enough to start farting i suppose. the grump farted from the day we brought him home, but becky is a girl and she has more manners. she even gets down off the bed to itch. the grump is at my feet right now looking at me like i ate the last morsel of dog food. i don't even like the taste of their food that much. i have tried it- but it's not that tasty. the grump gets very angry when you ask him for a bite or a drink or anything- even when he doesn't have anything in front of him. he is such an ass. i asked him if i could borrow a dollar the other day and he got pissed off and showed me his teeth. i try not to talk to him. becky would gladly give you the fur off her back. that's why she and i share a blanket.