dear just burgle me why dontcha diary,
amazingly enough, the thought of someone stealing my bed never entered my imagination. but if i was going to rob houses- you know- i'd be a burglar- bet me if that would be all i'd take. i would find out who has the bestest bed and break in and smuggle theirs out. i would prolly be known as- the 'bed bandit' on the world news. i know one house on the north end of town that would be COMPLETELY safe, (SHOUT OUT CUNTFACE) cuz that bed sucked. wouldn't it be strange to come home and find your bed missing? and all your sheets and mattress pad folded nicely in a pile where your bed once was. i can see the red thumbtacks on the mapped corkboard at the copshop now, "got another missing box spring and mattress- queen size lieutenant." the bed bandit strikes again.
amazingly enough, the thought of someone stealing my bed never entered my imagination. but if i was going to rob houses- you know- i'd be a burglar- bet me if that would be all i'd take. i would find out who has the bestest bed and break in and smuggle theirs out. i would prolly be known as- the 'bed bandit' on the world news. i know one house on the north end of town that would be COMPLETELY safe, (SHOUT OUT CUNTFACE) cuz that bed sucked. wouldn't it be strange to come home and find your bed missing? and all your sheets and mattress pad folded nicely in a pile where your bed once was. i can see the red thumbtacks on the mapped corkboard at the copshop now, "got another missing box spring and mattress- queen size lieutenant." the bed bandit strikes again.
