dear condiment diary,
of all the things people slop on their food, sandwiches in particular, mayonnaise has got to be the best invention. i do not like miracle whip when used as mayonnaise, let us spread that out on the table now. i used to when i was a kid- but only on bologna. i cant even stomach bologna now. barf. not even on the freshest of bread with even the thickest of a layer of potato chips smashed between the meat and the bread- nothing helps me swallow bologna. i simply can no longer do it. now, when it comes to making salads, i keep miracle whip light here in my fridge because if it wasn't in the salad- you could tell it was missing. sometimes i use half and half (half whip half mayo in the salads). hellmans is the best mayonnaise around. i think it had a different taste when it came in the glass jar, but what can you do. a bit of advice though, when i eat out, and a sandwich comes with mayo on it- i make them leave the mayo off. i do this for two reasons. one, you don't know what BRAND of mayonnaise they use, and two, you could get sick and die if the shit has been sitting out all day- mayonnaise is nasty.
of all the things people slop on their food, sandwiches in particular, mayonnaise has got to be the best invention. i do not like miracle whip when used as mayonnaise, let us spread that out on the table now. i used to when i was a kid- but only on bologna. i cant even stomach bologna now. barf. not even on the freshest of bread with even the thickest of a layer of potato chips smashed between the meat and the bread- nothing helps me swallow bologna. i simply can no longer do it. now, when it comes to making salads, i keep miracle whip light here in my fridge because if it wasn't in the salad- you could tell it was missing. sometimes i use half and half (half whip half mayo in the salads). hellmans is the best mayonnaise around. i think it had a different taste when it came in the glass jar, but what can you do. a bit of advice though, when i eat out, and a sandwich comes with mayo on it- i make them leave the mayo off. i do this for two reasons. one, you don't know what BRAND of mayonnaise they use, and two, you could get sick and die if the shit has been sitting out all day- mayonnaise is nasty.
