dear toothpaste on my shirt diary,
i couldn't remember iffin i brushed my teeth and then i looked down and sure enough, i did. my mouth tastes like dogshit but i'm not worried because it'll be a cold day in the middle east before i get a long passionate kiss. i thought about just letting my teeth rot out of my head, but then there's always that off chance i'll choke out of town while eating and need mouth to mouth contact with a real hero. the good Lord knows they better not even call the fuckers around here, i'd just as soon die as to have one of those fuckers touch me. i don't trust any of them, well OK maybe i trust all except one of them. i swear to God when my house is completely paid off i will still demand the fire fucking department NEVER step foot on my property. i'll burn my own fucking house right down to the ground and cook a turkey on the ashes. i know for a fact my neighbors wouldn't care and theirs'll be paid off right about the same time. we'll have us a block fire maybe- a big party- that would be fun. well kids- i'm done. have a good night. please when you leave- turn off the lights, but leave the nightlight on....
i couldn't remember iffin i brushed my teeth and then i looked down and sure enough, i did. my mouth tastes like dogshit but i'm not worried because it'll be a cold day in the middle east before i get a long passionate kiss. i thought about just letting my teeth rot out of my head, but then there's always that off chance i'll choke out of town while eating and need mouth to mouth contact with a real hero. the good Lord knows they better not even call the fuckers around here, i'd just as soon die as to have one of those fuckers touch me. i don't trust any of them, well OK maybe i trust all except one of them. i swear to God when my house is completely paid off i will still demand the fire fucking department NEVER step foot on my property. i'll burn my own fucking house right down to the ground and cook a turkey on the ashes. i know for a fact my neighbors wouldn't care and theirs'll be paid off right about the same time. we'll have us a block fire maybe- a big party- that would be fun. well kids- i'm done. have a good night. please when you leave- turn off the lights, but leave the nightlight on....
