dear i never said it was okay diary,
i have never been a desperate person, nor have i played a desperate person on tv. the people i've known in my life to be desperate have been really fat, obscenely ugly, had teeth missing or an eye, or had some other deformity that caused them to cling to whatever seemed to stick. i admit to chasing the unibomber twenty years ago though, well, we took turns chasing each other that is, because i, for the most part, was dick whipped. i'd never been fucked like that before- that shit was good. no shower in between fuckings even- oh my goodness- i'll never forget that smell. the power of sexual attraction is certainly strong and don't let anyone tell you it cant maintain some sort of relationship, because it can. but, when i need a friend- someone i can talk to, someone i can cry with, someone to laugh with, someone to share all the good and sweetest things in the world with, the tender quiet moments that two lovers should be able to share in each other with, that is where i must look and find my needs to be met somewhere else. it is hard for me to not fall in love. i do not know where to draw that line. i am getting much better at it. i've found leaving the pants on helps.
