dear baby diary,
call me 'baby' and i will puke instantly. it nearly causes my insides to turn inside out. if you cant remember my name, well, look in the glove compartment. i keep my insurance shit in there and my name is on that. or better yet, ask one of my kids, they'll be happy to tell you, but they're gonna tell me later- there's a price you pay for everything. i really don't even like my name, so iffin you want to rename me, feel free to pick any fucking name you'd like and call me that name, i don't really care what you call me, just make damn sure it ain't your wife's name, be consistent with it and make sure it ain't, 'baby.' i know why the last one called me 'baby' and at the time i thought it was just the cutest little damn thing ever in the world. he was fucking so many bitches and he called us all 'baby' so he didn't screw up names. i hope every woman who hears him say 'baby' now knows how special they are.
call me 'baby' and i will puke instantly. it nearly causes my insides to turn inside out. if you cant remember my name, well, look in the glove compartment. i keep my insurance shit in there and my name is on that. or better yet, ask one of my kids, they'll be happy to tell you, but they're gonna tell me later- there's a price you pay for everything. i really don't even like my name, so iffin you want to rename me, feel free to pick any fucking name you'd like and call me that name, i don't really care what you call me, just make damn sure it ain't your wife's name, be consistent with it and make sure it ain't, 'baby.' i know why the last one called me 'baby' and at the time i thought it was just the cutest little damn thing ever in the world. he was fucking so many bitches and he called us all 'baby' so he didn't screw up names. i hope every woman who hears him say 'baby' now knows how special they are.
