dear convince me diary,
for a long time there were many people who thought the earth was as flat as my ass. i used to hate my ass. i did. i really did. i still become super annoyed when i have to pull up my pants all the time because i have nothing in the region to keep them from falling down, but i have come to the wise realization that when doing the bookkeeping on your ass, less is always better than more as you get older and i quit bitching about my deficit. i wear belts now, bad ass belts. i have a whole collection of belts that match my boots. but sometimes it is hard to wear a belt with pajama pants. now that everyone knows the earth isn't flat, it may seem that my ass is just that much flatter- but it isn't. it is the same as it has always been, except for when i bend over.
for a long time there were many people who thought the earth was as flat as my ass. i used to hate my ass. i did. i really did. i still become super annoyed when i have to pull up my pants all the time because i have nothing in the region to keep them from falling down, but i have come to the wise realization that when doing the bookkeeping on your ass, less is always better than more as you get older and i quit bitching about my deficit. i wear belts now, bad ass belts. i have a whole collection of belts that match my boots. but sometimes it is hard to wear a belt with pajama pants. now that everyone knows the earth isn't flat, it may seem that my ass is just that much flatter- but it isn't. it is the same as it has always been, except for when i bend over.
