when i grew up i said, "fuck a screwdriver."

dear if i were a dandelion diary,

my mom always sent me out with two super long standard screwdrivers to dig up the dandelions out in our yard. there were never very many dandelions, but there were always a few that would sprout up in the spring and just annoy my mom. so off i would go with my sand bucket and tools to destroy them, knowing of course the importance of getting as much of the root as possible. sure, it was so much easier to just pick the dumb yellow flower, but somehow my mom always knew when i didn't get the root. she said i was a good digger, but the screwdrivers usually did most of the work. some of the dandelions had roots like carrots though and some just plain wouldn't release from the earth. i guess if you are really happy and secure where you are planted in life, even a little dumb bitch with two screwdrivers and a sand bucket on a mission cant fish you out. but the big daddy can when he comes along with the weed killer. dandelions don't really bother me as an adult- like they did my mom. but what i really cant stand are marigolds.