dear farting asshole dog diary,
the unibomber says he has separation anxiety disorder and that's why every time i leave and come back the first thing that happens- he comes and lines his asshole up here next to me on the couch and farts and i don't get that. what's he trying to prove anyway? i get it ok? it's the whole asshole too- and mysteriously, and i don't get this either- his tail somehow- its NOT there anymore- its dissolved somehow- gone- like it never existed even. im ashamed to have this knowledge, i am really, but after two or three HUNDRED times of this happening- you get the picture right? yeah and there are freckles on his flesh colored asshole- or are they shitflakes? ya know? shitflakes? cuz dogs cant wipe? but they never rub off on my arm usually, or at least i haven't noticed any trails. he usually raises his ass up so im sure to see it, the hole, and freckles- or flakes.
the unibomber says he has separation anxiety disorder and that's why every time i leave and come back the first thing that happens- he comes and lines his asshole up here next to me on the couch and farts and i don't get that. what's he trying to prove anyway? i get it ok? it's the whole asshole too- and mysteriously, and i don't get this either- his tail somehow- its NOT there anymore- its dissolved somehow- gone- like it never existed even. im ashamed to have this knowledge, i am really, but after two or three HUNDRED times of this happening- you get the picture right? yeah and there are freckles on his flesh colored asshole- or are they shitflakes? ya know? shitflakes? cuz dogs cant wipe? but they never rub off on my arm usually, or at least i haven't noticed any trails. he usually raises his ass up so im sure to see it, the hole, and freckles- or flakes.
