February 28, 2011

it's gunna take allot to take me away from you

dear someone farted next to me diary,

gee whiz. i'm defeated. it is one of those heavy lingering son's of bitches too. ain't no fanning this bitch. the fire department just went by- i had a mini panic attack- it brought me back in here to my safety place. i need you- you being my blog of course- don't anyone get a boner. you guys tho- we need to talk. this might not be the best time and all- but really fuckit- i am up. let's do this. fucking china now. south africa and shit. my map is all turning green all of a sudden. i am struck for words. again- not to worry- i am not speaking in the literal sense- which you will find i rarely ever do- not about the important shit anyway- oh like now- when i say- 'the train is going by' yes- the train is going by. but when i say- 'ohh- that was a train wreck...' i did not prolly see a train wreck. but i could have and if i did i would emphasize that in such a way that you would know. so i don't know how to speak chinese- but i like pepper chicken. allot. man do i ever. and pork fried rice and lo mien. and i always wanted to be kidnapped and marketed as a sex slave on a ship- but i figure i am to old now. my chances are slim. and south africa- WOW- i can balance a pot of water on my head too! i've been doing it since i was small. oh and sorry- back to china- once i dug a hole in our yard because i thought i could dig my way right to china. my mom made me stop. i got pretty dang far. as far as i could with a screwdriver and spoon.