clam shells & blue oysters

dear snowstick diary,

if i had a dick and it snowed- i would measure the snow with my hard dick. i would. so like me and my lover and all my former lovers would always gauge the amount of snowfall according to my dick. a dick would come in handy. you could use it to plug a bucket. you could use one to mark a page in a book. you sure cant use a vagina for that. i like my vagina tho. its nice and tidy tucked up inside- it ain't one that hangs all out. i have seen those kind. it ain't all gray or brown lookin either- it's kinda pink yet. i ain't sure how old you get when the color starts changin over. i've seen that too. i usually keep it pretty trimmed up- but it's out of control right now. it's the bathtub. when i took showers- i was on that shit- now- not so much. and really- business ain't been really busy lately- so- i gave the hedge cutters a break. several soldiers left their post and went home- and took my good cutters by accident- leaving me with the old dull cutter- which i finally replaced today. i never realized the almighty power of the fierce new edge of a razor. the hair i sliced off my legs came off like strings of seaweed. i'll carve the runway from the forest out later. at the end of the day- zippin up hair in front of a client sucks.