dear my dead neighbor that married my old landlord diary,
so when i moved into my old new house, i introduced my old next door neighbor to my new landlord who was old as fuck and refused to remarry ever again unless he found a virgin and was very open about this. i happened to know a 70 year old virgin who was catholic and this worked out famously. the two married after a 'micro-courtship' and she died a year ago today. i found out a DAY to late. omfg i was crushed. my old landlord died the year before, but really he should have been dead long before that and everyone knew it. he killed all kinds of people on the highway in traffic accidents, always calling them, "acts of God," and he'd be the only one ever to walk away. that fucker would hit them head on. i ain't lyin. when we would see him coming- or a car the same color even- we would fucking turn- and that is NO lie- miles away even. nicest man you'll ever meet- but not on a highway. he outlived his son too, who was healthy as a fucking horse. he and my neighbor were married ten full years. i dunno if they ever had sex.
so when i moved into my old new house, i introduced my old next door neighbor to my new landlord who was old as fuck and refused to remarry ever again unless he found a virgin and was very open about this. i happened to know a 70 year old virgin who was catholic and this worked out famously. the two married after a 'micro-courtship' and she died a year ago today. i found out a DAY to late. omfg i was crushed. my old landlord died the year before, but really he should have been dead long before that and everyone knew it. he killed all kinds of people on the highway in traffic accidents, always calling them, "acts of God," and he'd be the only one ever to walk away. that fucker would hit them head on. i ain't lyin. when we would see him coming- or a car the same color even- we would fucking turn- and that is NO lie- miles away even. nicest man you'll ever meet- but not on a highway. he outlived his son too, who was healthy as a fucking horse. he and my neighbor were married ten full years. i dunno if they ever had sex.
