dear cracking an egg diary,
every morning when i wake up i turn over and go back to sleep because i hate mornings and believe me when i say i turn over because i've slept on one side long enough. i never sleep on my back because i'm afraid someone will land on top of me so i sleep on my side instead- then i put a pillow- i always put a pillow in between my legs for security. that way if a prowler were to ever break into my house and try to sexually assault me- he would assault said pillow first. i think ahead. i keep a 41" sword next to my mattress anyway so let a mother fucker come knockin. i'm ready anyway. just as soon as this dumb stupid order of protection is over- i'll get my guns back and hang my swords back up on the walls in the kitchen and laundry room wheres they used to be and i'll be all happy again.
