dear dip it good diary,
if i could fly like a bald eagle- i would hover above my house and shit all over the unibomber's head every time he left to go somewhere. yup. i would perch my feather covered ass out on the light pole along side the road out here and wait for him to get up every day about 1:30PM and i'd know then around 3 or 4 PM he'd prolly be rollin outside for something and that is when i'd make my move. i'd have the flight pattern all mapped out in my head- it wouldn't change from day to day and the reflection from his bald spot would help guide me. as time would go by- my travel pattern would get easier, not just by habit, but the reflection pool will be bigger because that spot will grow and catch more sun. someday my aim will be so precise that i will hit the fucker square on the head and that is the day i will fly back to colorado where i will again be safe. for colorado is a place where all bald eagles are protected from the bald unibomber.
