dear if i were a surprise diary,
i could really sneak up on people. i would make a really good shocker surprise. "boo!" i could say and anyone would jump. no costumes, no make-up, no gimmicks- i would need none of that crap. you can get the shock of your life. just turn around and turn on the light. i ain't up early today cuz i wanna be, for pete's sake. i got responsibilities and a plan of action. i woulda had to go to the bank, but i don't have to do that anymore, my work as a whore paid off last night. i plucked my eyebrows, trimmed my mustache, cut my nose hairs, (omfg out of control) and did all my facial upkeep i have neglected in doing for all these months. i almost look like a girl again. i even painted my toenails- for the FIRST TIME THIS YEAR. something big could in fact be on the horizon- or i'm trying to sneak up and scare myself. i don't usually give two shits about much of anything, but maybe it is time to think about buying new pajamas.
