dear forget me not diary,
it is not inconceivable that things will go my way. even when they seem to not go my way, they always go go my way- sometimes i'm just not ready yet. i wait for change sometimes, or the lack thereof, because i feel guilty for wanting less. i mean, sometimes i want more, but not often. is wanting something different something more? not always, i wouldn't think- but to some it would, i suppose. getting ripped off is out of the question. so is trading in what you have for something you don't know about, but i almost did that once. boy was i stupid. the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs mowed and fleas still live in the grass. dogs still piss and shit in that green grass. i no longer want anything much different and i feel terrible for thinking i ever did. i'm lucky to have held on to what i've had for so long, thinking about tossing it all away for something that would have been so terribly worse makes me fucking vomit.
it is not inconceivable that things will go my way. even when they seem to not go my way, they always go go my way- sometimes i'm just not ready yet. i wait for change sometimes, or the lack thereof, because i feel guilty for wanting less. i mean, sometimes i want more, but not often. is wanting something different something more? not always, i wouldn't think- but to some it would, i suppose. getting ripped off is out of the question. so is trading in what you have for something you don't know about, but i almost did that once. boy was i stupid. the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs mowed and fleas still live in the grass. dogs still piss and shit in that green grass. i no longer want anything much different and i feel terrible for thinking i ever did. i'm lucky to have held on to what i've had for so long, thinking about tossing it all away for something that would have been so terribly worse makes me fucking vomit.
