dear bite my ass diary,
cleaning the carpet while my leg was bleeding wasn't nearly as fun as what i had planned for the dead four pound five and a half ounce rat my snake lost her appetite for- after she tried to put her mouth around my whole leg and i proceeded to thump her against the side of the bathroom shower at prolly forty one miles per hour on this- my dead mother's sixty eighth birthday. it feels like a friday. but i'm on my way now- to something. i killed a huge spider after i about got my leg tore off- a spider like i've never seen here in the grand state of illinois. it came from another planet. it is dead now and we are all safer tonight because of this. i am now a hero, just not that kind of hero. i do not have an infectious disease, for instance, of which i would wish to transmit to others. my house did, however, until earlier today, smell like a zoo, and there is the fact i've been twice bitten now by a six foot python which i call a PET and pay ridiculous amounts of money to feed and sometimes the stupid bitch would rather just eat me and kill her dinner and leave it lay.
cleaning the carpet while my leg was bleeding wasn't nearly as fun as what i had planned for the dead four pound five and a half ounce rat my snake lost her appetite for- after she tried to put her mouth around my whole leg and i proceeded to thump her against the side of the bathroom shower at prolly forty one miles per hour on this- my dead mother's sixty eighth birthday. it feels like a friday. but i'm on my way now- to something. i killed a huge spider after i about got my leg tore off- a spider like i've never seen here in the grand state of illinois. it came from another planet. it is dead now and we are all safer tonight because of this. i am now a hero, just not that kind of hero. i do not have an infectious disease, for instance, of which i would wish to transmit to others. my house did, however, until earlier today, smell like a zoo, and there is the fact i've been twice bitten now by a six foot python which i call a PET and pay ridiculous amounts of money to feed and sometimes the stupid bitch would rather just eat me and kill her dinner and leave it lay.
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| fuck me on my leg |
