dear no turn around diary,
it always cracks me up when you see these signs in people's driveways, "NOT A TURN AROUND," like you're gonna use up their concrete or blacktop JUST BY PULLING IN. it's like, "OK DUDE- WE KNOW WHERE AN ASSHOLE LIVES, oh and, I WONT STOP THERE IF I AM DYING," for fuck's sake. people are fucking weird about their yards and shit, me, not so much. i figure grass will grow back. i'm waiting for the martians to land and leave a crop circle. i love to mow in circles and cool patterns. mowing missionary is boring. i like to mix it up. i used to mow for my drunk friend kelly all the time (for free) because i loved the 'art' of mowing. i love to mow fast, but only if the mower has a sharp wide deck and can handle it. if it leaves a shitty cut because the grass is tall or thick or the blades are dull- you gotta slow down, but this was never an issue because drunk kelly was married to awesome andy who kept that bitch running like a well oiled whore. yes drunk kelly was lucky to've latched on to awesome andy for the time she did and she was damn lucky to've sucked off me for the fifteen years she sucked off me. if i were ever to come across a sign that read, "NO TURN AROUND," i believe i would buy that sign and go put it in drunk kelly's driveway, even though it is gravel.
it always cracks me up when you see these signs in people's driveways, "NOT A TURN AROUND," like you're gonna use up their concrete or blacktop JUST BY PULLING IN. it's like, "OK DUDE- WE KNOW WHERE AN ASSHOLE LIVES, oh and, I WONT STOP THERE IF I AM DYING," for fuck's sake. people are fucking weird about their yards and shit, me, not so much. i figure grass will grow back. i'm waiting for the martians to land and leave a crop circle. i love to mow in circles and cool patterns. mowing missionary is boring. i like to mix it up. i used to mow for my drunk friend kelly all the time (for free) because i loved the 'art' of mowing. i love to mow fast, but only if the mower has a sharp wide deck and can handle it. if it leaves a shitty cut because the grass is tall or thick or the blades are dull- you gotta slow down, but this was never an issue because drunk kelly was married to awesome andy who kept that bitch running like a well oiled whore. yes drunk kelly was lucky to've latched on to awesome andy for the time she did and she was damn lucky to've sucked off me for the fifteen years she sucked off me. if i were ever to come across a sign that read, "NO TURN AROUND," i believe i would buy that sign and go put it in drunk kelly's driveway, even though it is gravel.
