dear fingernail diary,
the entire time i was growing up i chewed my fingernails til they would bleed and i would peel the layers of my nails back meticulously- for fun and because they tasted like chicken. white meat chicken. plus i couldn't stop. not even when i tried. i soaked them in lemon juice, hot sauce, even painted the no chew stuff on them- but i ate right through it all. every last one. my mom toook me to shrinks and psychologists- i joined 4H and girl scouts and she had me hypnotized and baptized- swimming lessons were my favorite because they softened my nails and made them so much easier to chew apart. it seemed like the more attention she gave to my nails- the more i wanted to gnaw on them. once i was able to quit chewing one nail- but when the white part started to show- it overwhelmed me- took me completely by surprise- and i chewed it right off. my mom almost cried. sometimes (and you might stand over a bucket for this) i would even chew on my toes, there would be so much blood on my socks you'da thought it had come from my nose. that is nasty and i know that now, but it was so tasty back then. cuz toenails peel much better than fingernails for sure, cuz they're thick as fuck i guess. so now a days when i catch a glimpse of my perfect long ass nails- like when i am looking at something else- like clothes at a rummage sale- sometimes it takes my breath away- they're so fucking pretty- and i don't want to eat them anymore. i want to lick them instead- from the tips to the beds- just to make sure they are all still there. i want to give my nails head.
the entire time i was growing up i chewed my fingernails til they would bleed and i would peel the layers of my nails back meticulously- for fun and because they tasted like chicken. white meat chicken. plus i couldn't stop. not even when i tried. i soaked them in lemon juice, hot sauce, even painted the no chew stuff on them- but i ate right through it all. every last one. my mom toook me to shrinks and psychologists- i joined 4H and girl scouts and she had me hypnotized and baptized- swimming lessons were my favorite because they softened my nails and made them so much easier to chew apart. it seemed like the more attention she gave to my nails- the more i wanted to gnaw on them. once i was able to quit chewing one nail- but when the white part started to show- it overwhelmed me- took me completely by surprise- and i chewed it right off. my mom almost cried. sometimes (and you might stand over a bucket for this) i would even chew on my toes, there would be so much blood on my socks you'da thought it had come from my nose. that is nasty and i know that now, but it was so tasty back then. cuz toenails peel much better than fingernails for sure, cuz they're thick as fuck i guess. so now a days when i catch a glimpse of my perfect long ass nails- like when i am looking at something else- like clothes at a rummage sale- sometimes it takes my breath away- they're so fucking pretty- and i don't want to eat them anymore. i want to lick them instead- from the tips to the beds- just to make sure they are all still there. i want to give my nails head.
