bleeding out to stay together

dear clotting up diary,

sometimes when i cut myself i just squeeze the area around it and make it bleed more to see how much blood i can get out of it before it just stops and wont bleed anymore. it never takes very long because i never get cut very bad, but once in a while i'll make a mess on my shirt and there will be enough to collect for one of my spells later. it is supposed to be fresh blood when you do the spells but i cant go around cutting myself at will, so i'm one that saves blood  and uses it later. it's the best i can do. i've found it keeps in the fridge for a while- so i dunno- that's just how i been keeping it. now my chin hairs and fingernails- you know i keep them all different because they ain't gotta be refrigerated. so YAY on that. i feel like i need to be doing something to prepare for this evening's ritual, but i have everything i need. even the moon is ready. i want everyone to listen to the sound of the september sky tonight. look to the northern sky for one star so bright.

for it is under the mighty star of thirteen my spell-

i shall cast demons upon those whom i don't wish so well.

over the yellow hot flame my red blood shall pass-

on my flesh finger to make it last-

until every single truth shall be known-

to each of you a continuous live of misery forgo

lives filled disdain and mistrust and hatred together

every morning and until dusk and every weather-

you are to suffer till the end of time-

faithfully to each other.