dear sleeping diary,
this is how i slept last night, like shit. iffin i wasn't tossing, i was turning. then when i did slow down to a stop, i was on my back and i am not a back sleeper. then the unibomber farted in his bed across the room and it sounded like a volkswagen horn, all long and high pitched, and it startled both dogs and made me laugh. then everyone wanted to go outside and when becky came back inside she was so cold it almost killed her. i had to hurry and let her under the covers and back up on my chest where she immediately made her little grunt noise and went back to sleep. i just listened to her breathe and warmed each paw one by one with my hands. i could prolly snuggle up to her again right now and lay my head on her chest and make a little grunt noise and stay there all day. if i tried to fart that long though, i would shit my pajama pants. beep beep.
this is how i slept last night, like shit. iffin i wasn't tossing, i was turning. then when i did slow down to a stop, i was on my back and i am not a back sleeper. then the unibomber farted in his bed across the room and it sounded like a volkswagen horn, all long and high pitched, and it startled both dogs and made me laugh. then everyone wanted to go outside and when becky came back inside she was so cold it almost killed her. i had to hurry and let her under the covers and back up on my chest where she immediately made her little grunt noise and went back to sleep. i just listened to her breathe and warmed each paw one by one with my hands. i could prolly snuggle up to her again right now and lay my head on her chest and make a little grunt noise and stay there all day. if i tried to fart that long though, i would shit my pajama pants. beep beep.
